If we were having coffee today, you would discover my house is still dressed for Christmas and the kid and I are still recovering from the flu.

A flu it feels like we will never recover from. But it’s not true, I know. One day, suddenly it will seem, we will both be fine and the sickness a long ago memory. But right now, I’m on day five of little voice. It is not lost on me the spiritual irony that my voice is typically removed when I get sick.

The last two days, it seems like my son is declining – his poor lips are so chapped and something seems to be going on in his mouth – either canker sore on his cheek or sore throat. He has a hard time telling me and I’m having a hard time interpreting … such is a mother’s quandary. So we went to the CVS yesterday (again!) and bought a crap ton of stuff and well, you know, hoping healing will happen. Plus I’ve scheduled the doctor for Monday morning so an answer will happen soon.

But come in, sit down. Let me get you some coffee. The only true down side of starting the year off this way is one does not feel they’ve started the year off with a “bang.” Especially when being healthy is on the resolution agenda and yet here I am with little energy and little appetitite to eat anything much less more green.

So coffee black is good. Getting into the new year with new blog posting schedule is great. I really want to return to a stronger writing practice so I was excited when I came across the #WeekendCoffeeShare. I’m looking forward to reading and writing in this fashion. I like the intimacy and authenticity vibes it’s giving me.

We will be doing our 2020 vision board in a week or so. I did have my “word” for 2020 about a week before Christmas and yes, the irony of the present will make you laugh. It’s okay to laugh, smile a little. My “word” is “give voice” and yes, having started the year off with no actual voice… ha ha ha. But I do want to give voice… to just start sharing again my “voice.” I’ve been managaging this blog and even my marketing one for several years now and yet, my actual voice is not fully shared. I do lots of things. Sharing things and facts and wallpapers is pretty easy. Beginning again to share my own formulated sentences … big stuff! So “give voice” not saying to speak up or shout and publish or anything but just take my little whispers and quietly type them. Feel safe in that starting place.

Did I get burned? Why the shyness? I find the world rather frightening these days in the amount of rage that is out there. I try hard in my interactions to hold and look to love and kindness – putting out positivity so I may reap that. When life can be challenging all on its own, I don’t fully understand the desire to lash and beat up others virtually or IRL. Applaud that with which you agree, support it if you want to see more. But that’s not how thing have been the last few years from my view. But I’m trying to own my space. That I am allowed space… allowed a voice… just as we all are.

I hope 2020 is wonderful for you. I hope you’ll stop by again when we’re not so sickly over here.